By Smelly Socks and Garden Peas

smellysocksandgardenpeas.com

Well, here was a turn up for the books. A bright sunny morning as spring was starting to think about kicking into action, breakfast was almost finished and Sam had run off to play with his Christmas Lego. Dad was having a lie in, so Mum and Marley sipped their coffees together (decaf for Marley, vanilla syrup all round).

“Muuuuum” started Marley, doing her best to seem relaxed and not very interested.

Mum’s something's-going-on-here radar went straight to high alert, “Uh huh” she replied. Mum had learnt that returning one of Marley’s nonchalant conversation starters with deep interest would get her nowhere. She put her phone down, screen to the table, though so that Marley knew she was listening.

“Well Mum, there’s this thing at school.”

“Oh right?” Mum’s parental warning system alert level went up another level, this might require more coffee, she boiled the kettle again.

Marley decided to tell Mum all about it. “So Mum, the thing is that Bella says I shouldn’t give a Valentine’s card to Mia.”

Mum had a little think. “Well, what do you think?”

“I think Mia’s really nice and sometimes she’s kind of sad and won’t play with anyone so I want to give her a card.” Marley was glad that a good moment had come along to talk to Mum. “But Bella says then Mia will think I want her to be my girlfriend, and that’s not it. I just want her to know I think she’s great.”

“Oh right,” said Mum again. “So it’s not a girlfriend thing?”

Marley was quiet for a moment. “No. I mean, well, that’s a whole ‘nother story. If I wanted a girlfriend, I would like someone like Mia, but not now.”

A whole ‘nother story? Mum might need gin for that one, coffee might not be enough! Since when were 10 year olds so complicated?! But, hey, result – Marley was totally unphased by the idea of girls having girlfriends, maybe Mum’s occasional lectures on equality had sunk in after all. Mum decided to check she’d understood the problem properly though, she was having trouble restraining her curiosity. “OK, so you want to give a Valentine’s card to a girl in your class to cheer her up and let her know she has a friend in you? But your best friend says its a bad idea. I wonder why Bella says that?”

“Oh Mum, Bella’s just being jealous!”

Mum raised her eyebrows. Bella and Marley had been best friends for years, inseparable, sparky together and fiercely protective of one another. “Marley, if Bella’s jealous don’t you think that’s a big deal for her?”

Marley stared at Mum, eyes wide. “Oooooooh, maybe Bella feels left out? She’s my best friend though and she knows that. I know! I’ll give Bella a best friend card too for Valentine’s day and one to Mia. Then Bella will know for sure that I think she’s really great, but Mia might feel better too.” Marley paused and looked at Mum. “Thanks Mum” she said, gave her Mum a little hug and ran off just as Dad started thumping down the stairs.

Mum felt like she’d run a marathon. She decided she’d navigated that quite well, it was always a good sign when Marley figured it out for herself. Dad gave Mum a “what’s all this” look as he came into the kitchen prowling for cornflakes.

A few days later, Marley trundled off to school a little bit nervous, with cards for her friends in her bag. At the end of the day, Mum picked her up from after school club and Marley had a bounce in her step. This was a good sign, thought Mum. As they got in the car, Sam was chattering away about some confrontation on the football pitch at lunchtime, apparently one of his friends had been watching too many premiership matches on the TV and was trying to get loads of penalties by diving all the time.

Once they were home, Mum sent Sam off to build some Lego and asked Marley “How was your day then?”

Marley grinned a big grin, “Charlie gave me a card Mum! and he really liked mine too!”

Gone were all the thoughts of Mia and Bella, Mum’s eyebrows almost reached her hairline. “Charlie?”

“Muuuuum, you know Charlie, he was the narrator in the play at Christmas and he plays Roblox with me and Bella, he has a really cool super-tiger on Adopt Me.”

“Oh yes, Charlie. I take it you’re pleased he gave you a card?”

Marley gave Mum a little frown, “Well of course Mum, he’s my boyfriend. If he didn’t give me a card that would be very rude.” she finished with a firm nod and Mum could see herself in her daughter for a brief moment.

“Boyfriend! What the heck is this?” Mum kept her thoughts to herself, this must surely be some sort of fad in their class, it couldn’t be anything meaningful, just kids playing at being grown up, right? Blimey. Mum’s face must have given something away, Marley carried on “It’s OK Mum, he’s really nice and kind, he’s going to give me a sloth on Roblox too.”

“What does it mean, having a boyfriend or girlfriend in your class then? Do you play together at school?” Mum had to know more, her grunting approach to getting the kids to talk went out of the window.

Marley gave her a withering look, “No, he’s a boy! He’s friends with Jack and they dig for stuff in the tree roots or try to find sticks to use as swords. I play football sometimes, but Charlie doesn’t like football.”

Mum breathed a sign of relief, “Do other people have boyfriends and girlfriends in your class?”

Marley launched into a whole soap opera-worthy dramatic explanation of her class’s attempts to play grown ups. There were break ups and cheating and jealousy and even an attempt to kiss someone without them noticing. It was thrilling, maybe Mum should write it all down and sell it to Hollywood? Or maybe this sort of thing had been the inspiration for the Carry On films years ago? Mum was suddenly relieved that it was still all so innocent, she knew that this drama would be real enough in a few years time.

“Did Mia and Bella like their cards?” Mum asked, like any good melodrama the details were getting a bit too much.

“What? Oh yeah, they were fine. Can I play Roblox now?” Marley’s earlier dilemma had paled into insignificance it seemed.

Mum agreed with a half hour of screen time while she made dinner. She gave herself a mental pat on the head for staying cool and escaping this latest parenting minefield unscathed. “Marley”, she called as her daughter left the room “you know I’m proud of you, right? You’re a kind friend.” The reply was just silence as the lure of the screen overcame any communication attempts with Marley.

Smelly always gives the funniest and sweetest posts and about her boys and family life. The love she has for them, and the hilarious way she presents and shares it, made her a quick favorite. Her Lessons in Loss series is a must read, and showcases some lovely pieces from wonderful people. You can check out her website and blog by clicking the link below!