Power to the Person
Growing up I went to three different High schools in two different countries. They were all different in size, the smallest was a private Christian school with about 100 students 9-12. Next was a public high school with a little over 1,000 kids total. The largest was a private Buddhist school of about 2,000 in Japan. What I found is that schools, like the people in them, are very similar. Most kids are just doing their best to try and find a group that they can fit in with, and are desperately hoping to not be the odd one out.
As an adult I wish I could say that life is completely different than it was back then, but the reality is that as we age there is only more pressure from our families and society to find a job, get married and have children. Conform or suffer the wrath of feeling like you just walked into the cafeteria by yourself, except now as a grown up. It is easy to over look or ignore the quiet and unshakeable expectations that our cultures and loved ones can place on each of us. What if we don’t match other’s hopes, or societies silent demands?
Lately it has become fashionable to declare publicly which group or groups a person chooses to identify themselves with. It is based on sexual preference, political affiliation, gender, class, creed or color. This obviously doesn’t take into account the wonderful folks out there that smash stereotypes, and absolutely lay waste to people’s preconceived notions, or the fact that most of us defy them anyway. The truth is that the large majority of people are not so obvious or easily defined. We tend to be walking contradictions that find a way to exist within what should be irreconcilable differences. Respecting people has nothing to do with knowing which groups they belong to and everything with first respecting oneself. If I am able to look at my own inadequacies and deficiencies and show myself kindness, it becomes much easier to show grace and patience to others. Perhaps instead of looking to a group to define us, we simply identify as ourselves, and embrace that we are all miraculous skin covered inconsistencies that are well beyond such simple and silly terms.
The choice is ours whether we try to live rooted in love, or to allow fear to call the shots. As our bodies wrinkle and our hairs grey it is even easier to be perpetually afraid and scared of the ever looming “what could be”. A lot of us spend our lives playing an endless game of musical chairs, either socially, emotionally or financially. The threat of being left out, or in need when the music stops keeps us in a constant state of understandable panic. Thankfully there is a better option than living in fear. The search for peace and self sovereignty is a journey that each of us must make by ourselves in our own way. Learning who we are and how we fit into the grand scheme of things is a lesson that only ends when we do. From what I’ve seen the only way to any sort of lasting peace is by facing the things we fear the most. We cannot hide ourselves from the pains of this life, but we can try to love ourselves through whatever it is that may occur. Keeping in mind that each of us is our own greatest resource and most prized possession.
We are an interesting bunch in that we are much more like ants or bees than we may care to realize. We also seek to belong to groups, tribes and institutions, and yet we have a complex individual, and highly personalized experience and consciousness. We all want to feel as though we belong, yet there are unavoidable challenges that we must face alone. No one can be defined merely by the groups they align themselves with, or the opinions that they hold. Those are only outward expressions and do not necessarily reflect what could be their inner truth. It seems many of the groups we so desire to be apart of, to help define us, could actually be limiting the beautiful ineffability that is our existence, and at the very core of what it is to be gloriously human.