In the earliest of morning hours, thanks to my miraculous morphine drip, I slunk out of bed and shuffled my way into the cold overlit bathroom. A violent shattering of breath left my body once I was in front of the sink and glanced up. For the first and only time in my life, I did not recognize my own reflection. Every feature seemed to hang several inches lower than normal, like someone cracked me with a bat a few times. The surgery I was recovering from was the culmination of years worth of dental and orthodontic work that started when I was six, and could only end now, once I was old enough that I wouldn’t grow out of the procedure. All the years of pulling, prodding and poking that happened in my mouth led me to absolutely despise anyone that put their hands in there, regardless of their supposed good intent.

With the relentless and seemingly chaotic nature of life, even the best of us can forget to give attention to, or awareness of, our transcendental selves. Our existence is more than just our beautiful physical bodies in this wonderfully gorgeous world. We are made up just as much from our emotional, psychic and spiritual selves as we are from particles, atoms and molecules. Just like our physical bodies, if we do not feed and nourish the rest of who we are it can lead to catastrophic results. 

For most of us, the idea of “working” on ourselves conjures up tear-filled therapist appointments or heart-wrenching family meetings, and is looked forward to like taxes, tithing or flossing. We all hate it, but what can you do, right? As I began to invest in my invisible selves though, I found that it was anything but boring or biting, and the maintenance of the many of me was life-giving and actually fun! 

Now, I’m not talking about dealing with traumas from my past, or unresolved issues that through Love and grace I will deal with and get through. This is more like an emotional oil change, or picking up my mental house, or like taking myself on a date. The transcendental world and the physical one are the same in that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and regular maintenance is much better than waiting for a breakdown or after repairs. So what does it mean to pay attention to ourselves, or do a little loving mental maintenance?  

For me, one of the ways to show self care came in the form of relearning how to fish. As a kid my whole family would go to the reservoir for the day, or even week-long camping trips, just to get enough of those scaly, slippery things to have a big family fish fry dinner. The sun would slowly set as we shared far more than food, and would laugh while embellishing and retelling stories. As I got older, I let the plans and pressures of the world take me away from all of that, and I didn’t give it a thought for a long time. What I gained from fishing was far greater than the act of fishing itself, and what I lost when I stopped was devastatingly more as well. 

When we deny any part of ourselves and stop enjoying life, we turn our backs on life itself. One of the surest ways to feel better and improve mental health is to take the time to learn about who we are while figuring out what we love! Take pictures, paint, or go hiking! Try it all! Do whatever it is while being aware of your enjoyment of it,  and understand that it is vital to knowing oneself and living well. If we don’t make the tending to our many selves a priority in our own lives we can easily end up in pain, unsure, and completely unrecognizable.