The Myths of Meditation
After lighting some incense, I sat with both eyes slammed shut as tight as humanly possible, while listening to Himalayan monks chanting loudly over my headphones. Each leg had already fallen asleep due to my sitting on the floor in a way that I never would normally, and hadn’t since I was a small child. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t ignore the pain, or how awkward and unnatural I felt, and turned off the music more frustrated than when I started.
When I first began to meditate it was surprisingly upsetting, and annoying. How could something that looked and sounded so easy be so challenging? Sitting and trying to relax and stay still was deceptively difficult, and left me completely unsure and unconfident. What if meditation is only something for hippies and new agers?
One of the biggest mistakes that I made early on was always being constantly concerned with whether or not I was “doing it wrong” and trying to do what I thought was right. In my sincere desire to do my best I left no room for myself to have or enjoy a unique and genuine experience. It can be easy to forget that we get to choose what we make a priority in our personal and private lives, especially when it comes to how we experience and express our spirituality.
When we talk about meditating we typically think of someone sitting still while crossing their legs and breathing deeply, but that is not the only way it can be done. When I get lost in thought while driving, that is a form of meditation. When I allow my eyes to lose focus and stare off into the ether, that is meditation. When I have a nagging or even negative thought in the back of my mind all day, that is it too. Some people meditate while listening to heavy metal music, and others while exercising, dancing or laying down. It can be any moment that we let go of trying, and allow ourselves to simply be. It is as natural as sleeping and breathing and we all do it constantly whether we are aware of it or not.
Another misconception about meditation had to do with not understanding what it actually is, and why I wanted to do it. When I would close my eyes and “try” to meditate I would get flooded with stupid and sometimes disturbing thoughts and images that made me feel anything but relaxed, and I would want to stop immediately because I felt out of control and frustrated. My expectations were that I should have some sort of life shattering epiphany every time I sat down and got quiet, and when that didn’t happen I was disappointed. However if I don’t remember a dream after a nights sleep do I get angry? Or if the dream I do remember is weird or disturbing should I feel bad about it? Of course not. The mountain of benefits that we get from sleep is far greater than whether or not we simply remember or like our dreams, and it is the same with meditation.
It helped me when I realized that dealing with those nasty thoughts and emotions can help me understand that I am far more than what I think and feel. I am the person having the thought or feeling the emotion, not the thought or emotion itself. If I can find a way to look at those ugly or nasty things and not accept them as myself, then I will not be manipulated or controlled by them. We cannot always choose where our minds go, but we are in charge of where it stays.
Another simple snare to avoid when starting out is setting a time limit. Whenever I decided how long I wanted to meditate I always inevitably fell short, and felt bad about it. I would end up focusing more on the small amount of time I didn’t “do it right” than all of the good stuff I was doing. The truth is it doesn’t matter how long you meditate, and the more that is the focus the less you will get anything meaningful out of it. For example there are micro-meditations that are literally only a few seconds long that feel great and are highly effective. Who cares how long it takes?
Try different types of meditation and find what you enjoy. Think of it like bumper bowling where you literally cannot mess up, and as long as you try, any attempt will have some level of success. Your practice is yours alone, so make it something that you enjoy and look forward to. Ultimately meditation is meant to help manifest peace and awareness through self love. Remember no-one has to teach us how to sleep or breath. It comes naturally to each of us, and meditation is the same way. Treat yourself with love and kindness first, let go of “doing it wrong” and the rest will figure itself out.